There and Back Again

I'm going to try to write, just because I need to get things out... but in truth, I feel so lost right now. There is no way I could even try to process everything that happened. Everything was so vast. A lot of stuff just went right over my head. Things are coming back to me now that I am home, like pieces of a puzzle being fit together, scenes and sensations flying through my mind. I am able to remember things that I had forgotten.... or pushed out of my mind... or that went over my head. And it is overwhelming.

I just arrived home from Malawi, Africa yesterday.

I remember....
The first village we visited. (Or was it the second?) We went door-to-door doing evangelism, mud hut to mud hut. Sharing the Gospel, praying for people. The whole village got saved that day. But that happened throughout the whole trip. Whole villages excepting Jesus.

That day, a family was dying of aids. An old man and an old women. Limbs like tooth-picks. And a young child, maybe two years old. They sat on a read mat in the dust. Dying. Foster, our translator, said that their bodily protection had been used up....

Bald patches of hair missing from their heads, open festering sores, missing teeth, flies everywhere.... in their mouth, corners of their eyes, covering their sores...

They were Christians, but no longer prayed. They had lost hope.
I remember feeling so hopeless as well. --- Thinking things like, O my God, this family is dying. How could they pray or have hope? How could you let this happen to them? This is like hell on earth. What could I possibly say to them? It's hopeless.
I felt God stirring in me. And I knew that He loved that family. I didn't understand, or pretend to understand. But I knew I had to tell them of God's love.
I shared Psalm 139 with them. .....How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.....
And I realized as I spoke that I didn't need to understand. God understood. And in heaven, there was no more pain, no more suffering.

I laid hands on them, and I prayed for them. Things like this are hard to comprehend. I laid hands on a family dying of aids. They couldn't understand what I said. But they closed their eyes and prayed along.
And when it was time to go, they said they now had hope.

That day we prayed over a possessed child, screaming with rolling eyes. And when we were done, the child was still and calm. That day, we prayed for a sick woman. And when we were done, she said she was no longer sick....
That day they sang and danced for us under the setting sun and the rising moon. They lifted up their voices and praised God. Children with bloated bellies, old men and women who could hardly walk.... they all danced and sang for us with superhuman energy.

God did things like this every day, using every member of my team. This was only one of the first days. And this is what I remember for now. I will share more later, as things come to me.
... And I am so tired. And sad... but happy.