Unimportant Updates

Random unimportant updates on my life:

Well, life has been pretty smooth lately. Getting ready to start school. I have classes online, on Potters School, this year. Don't know how I feel about that. I'm semi-glad to be starting school again, because it will keep me busy... less time to mope around and feel sorry for myself. ;) But it's still school. And my last year. And I honestly have no idea what I will do next year. So I try to avoid thinking about it.

I've been drawing. A lot. Like my life counts on it. I want to upload stuff onto the computer, but I don't have a scanner. I created a new character. Quin. And I've been drawing him a lot. My style is kind of realistic manga. Yeah. ^_^ I usually don't draw all that much, except to sketch a little when I'm bored, and it's nice to be diving into drawing.

I started Judo the other day. It is sooo good to get back into martial arts. I actually have another class tonight. It's a ground-fighting martial arts, involving throws, falls, and wrestling. The teacher scares me really bad. Aahaha. And not just because he's so blunt. [And he is that.] This sounds mean, but I'm saying it 'cause he's not here to kill me: he looks like a mix between Bilbo Baggins and a Sith Lord. Like, seriously. He scares the crap outta me. 0.0

Anyway, judo itself is really awesome. It's my favorite kind of martial art, and I knew beforehand that ground-fighting was what I really needed. Wrestling is the awkward part. You do it with people of all ages and ranges of experience, and you have to stay close up to the body, with no space between you. But once you know pressure points and grabs it gets easier... more like actual fighting than trying to stay out of a defenseless position for as long as possible.

Last time I was told by the teacher that I was strong and fast. Like, ding dong! Applesauce. Spiders crawling up your back. Static in brain. Head shoots up, chest shoots out, heart skips a couple beats....

Honestly, complements like those are the ones that go straight to my head, even if it was given by Bilbo Baggins. Never give me a complement like that. I have to fight it down for a long time after.

Yesterday I went to a sleepover. Full of girls that I only half-knew or didn't know at all. And now I think I've had enough of girls to last me a lifetime! *gags dramatically*
"Childish, why are you so quiet and antisocial? Come closer and talk with us!"
Me: [thinking: It is quite amusing to watch and observe utter stupidity at a high-energy level. ] *looks up and gives stupid grin* Oh, okay. I don't know much about pregnant men and movie stars, but...."
haha. jk. But honestly, they start talking about nail-polish, and end up talking about steroids and rubber-duckies in a two-minute period of time, practically. And I just.... don't know how to do that. 0.0 To be fair, they are extremely nice girls. I'm just extra odd, I guess.

*Sigh* But I'm doing well. I adjusted back into my normal American life very quickly after getting back from Malawi. No deep depressions like India did to me... tore me up, like a radical trauma, marking a turning point in my life that I couldn't get over for the longest time.

God's been really close to me. He's showed me that nothing I could ever do, or imagine, or become will ever separate me from His love or even make it any less. Do you know how amazing that is? God loves you just as much as He loves a serial killer, or a prostitute, or the worst sinner out there. His love knows no bounds. No human could love you like that. Even when you are in sin, even when you are lost in a storm, even when you have turned your back on Him, He has not turned His back on you. He cannot deny Himself. His blood has power beyond our human comprehension. How dare we say, "I can't go back to God now. He can't forgive this sin again. I've been coming back with this same filth uncountable time. This time He won't forgive me."
He died for that sin, shed His own blood, gave His own life. For you. Nothing can separate us from His love.

There and Back Again

I'm going to try to write, just because I need to get things out... but in truth, I feel so lost right now. There is no way I could even try to process everything that happened. Everything was so vast. A lot of stuff just went right over my head. Things are coming back to me now that I am home, like pieces of a puzzle being fit together, scenes and sensations flying through my mind. I am able to remember things that I had forgotten.... or pushed out of my mind... or that went over my head. And it is overwhelming.

I just arrived home from Malawi, Africa yesterday.

I remember....
The first village we visited. (Or was it the second?) We went door-to-door doing evangelism, mud hut to mud hut. Sharing the Gospel, praying for people. The whole village got saved that day. But that happened throughout the whole trip. Whole villages excepting Jesus.

That day, a family was dying of aids. An old man and an old women. Limbs like tooth-picks. And a young child, maybe two years old. They sat on a read mat in the dust. Dying. Foster, our translator, said that their bodily protection had been used up....

Bald patches of hair missing from their heads, open festering sores, missing teeth, flies everywhere.... in their mouth, corners of their eyes, covering their sores...

They were Christians, but no longer prayed. They had lost hope.
I remember feeling so hopeless as well. --- Thinking things like, O my God, this family is dying. How could they pray or have hope? How could you let this happen to them? This is like hell on earth. What could I possibly say to them? It's hopeless.
I felt God stirring in me. And I knew that He loved that family. I didn't understand, or pretend to understand. But I knew I had to tell them of God's love.
I shared Psalm 139 with them. .....How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.....
And I realized as I spoke that I didn't need to understand. God understood. And in heaven, there was no more pain, no more suffering.

I laid hands on them, and I prayed for them. Things like this are hard to comprehend. I laid hands on a family dying of aids. They couldn't understand what I said. But they closed their eyes and prayed along.
And when it was time to go, they said they now had hope.

That day we prayed over a possessed child, screaming with rolling eyes. And when we were done, the child was still and calm. That day, we prayed for a sick woman. And when we were done, she said she was no longer sick....
That day they sang and danced for us under the setting sun and the rising moon. They lifted up their voices and praised God. Children with bloated bellies, old men and women who could hardly walk.... they all danced and sang for us with superhuman energy.

God did things like this every day, using every member of my team. This was only one of the first days. And this is what I remember for now. I will share more later, as things come to me.
... And I am so tired. And sad... but happy.