There’s something about the way you breathe, the slow deep breaths, the way your chest moves with fragile life. It makes me want to crush my chest to yours, synchronize the rise and fall of your chest with my own, until our heartbeats make melodies and there is no difference between where yours begins and mine ends.
There’s something about your eyes, the way you plead with them, the way you laugh and cry and live through them. They speak words and emotions into my brain that words could never describe.
You know that fragile insecurity and low self esteem in your shifting gaze, in your shy smile, in the way you lift your head up so smugly, only to drop it again in a moment? You feign bravery, only to lose control so easily. Well, let me tell you, I think you’re courageous, because you’re real. And you’re not afraid to try again, even when you fall. I know you don’t believe me, so let me show you. I want to breathe security into your veins, grip you tightly and not let you go, give you the ability to look the world in the eyes and not look away. Because these arms of strength that are holding you are your arms now.
I know you’re weak, but when you surrender, I’ll show you what strength is.
No one said life was going to be easy. I'm sure if you knew it would get this bad, you would have ended it long ago. But let me tell you a Truth: Love has already won. Hate has already been defeated. So bare your scars of hatred that you cling to. Let go of the filth you identify with. You're not the only one who thinks you're the only one. Surrender to Love, and be Consumed. There's more out there than what you're living for. There's more to life than death.
If you seek, you shall find, if you seek with your whole heart.
Your Creator Loves You.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Swallow
I can't do this alone.
But I have to. Because I am alone. And there's no one. And there's nothing.
It's like being forced to swallow your sobs. ("Can't cry, girl. Can't cry. Eat your tears, girl. They grow into strength.")
But they don't grow into strength. They grow into hot coals in your stomach. And the hot coals grow into monsters later on. Much later. When you need to cry, but you can't remember how to. And they sit there, in the pit of your stomach. Dry eyes. And you want to vomit.
Loneliness.
And all those false promises you ate as hope, they turned against you, too. You know those walls you built around you, built so high, so strong? They are no longer a fortress. They're a cage. And you can't climb over them. They're too big for you.
You want someone to come to help you. You want to let someone into your cage. But they can't get to you, can't get over the walls you created. They can only look helplessly into your eyes. They're too dark, aren't they? Too deep.
I'm sorry.
I would vomit if I could. But the vomit's a part of me now.
King of the broken people, won't You come and rescue Your children?
But I have to. Because I am alone. And there's no one. And there's nothing.
It's like being forced to swallow your sobs. ("Can't cry, girl. Can't cry. Eat your tears, girl. They grow into strength.")
But they don't grow into strength. They grow into hot coals in your stomach. And the hot coals grow into monsters later on. Much later. When you need to cry, but you can't remember how to. And they sit there, in the pit of your stomach. Dry eyes. And you want to vomit.
Loneliness.
And all those false promises you ate as hope, they turned against you, too. You know those walls you built around you, built so high, so strong? They are no longer a fortress. They're a cage. And you can't climb over them. They're too big for you.
You want someone to come to help you. You want to let someone into your cage. But they can't get to you, can't get over the walls you created. They can only look helplessly into your eyes. They're too dark, aren't they? Too deep.
I'm sorry.
I would vomit if I could. But the vomit's a part of me now.
King of the broken people, won't You come and rescue Your children?
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